Posted on July 19 2017
By Melissa Kandel
The night was cold, one of those unusually chilly evenings in late July when the wind churns a little fiercer than it should, and I just couldn’t bring myself to put on that new pair of high-waisted shorts then make the blocks-long journey to meet up with friends. Jeans might have been a fine option but would eventually necessitate standing inside the beer-laden, sweaty confines of our small, local pub wearing uncomfortably thick denim. A skirt didn’t solve the problem of trekking against hostile gusts.
And that’s when it hit me. The answer was simple: Yoga pants.
But not just yoga pants to cure my current dilemma; yoga pants as the solution to so many sartorial dilemmas … a sushi date, an ‘80s cover band performance, a trip to the zoo, a Game of Thrones-themed BBQ where Jon Snow Cones are being served. Any time, any place. It’s an idea as pliable as the pants themselves and to prove it, I’ve crafted a list of five instances when you can rock a pair of yoga pants without the least shred of cottony remorse.
It was the wise philosopher Cher Horowitz—of mid ‘90s Clueless fame—who first ruefully denigrated too-tight evening wear on the big screen, putting into question our going-out outfits for years to come. “Maybe it’s because my party clothes are so binding,” she pondered, sitting on the oversized couch of her dad’s Beverly Hills mansion next to a young Paul Rudd. Her introspection never did meet a worthy solution … until now. Who says you can’t pair a crop top with yoga pants or a sparkly tank with marbled leggings and hit the town? Nobody. That’s who.
If you work at Corporate Ink Incorporated, this one may not apply but for those with jobs not stuck in the anachronistic era of pant-suited, pencil-skirted dress codes, I suggest opting for yoga pants over goopy, unflattering slacks. Pair them with a long, belted tunic, add a few choice accessories—a statement necklace, twinkly earrings, chunky bracelets, a cute pair of wedges—and no one will know the wiser … except, of course, you because you’ll be uncharacteristically comfortable all day long.
Whether you’re sitting cross-legged at an outdoor amphitheater taking in the sweet, bubbly sounds of Jack Johnson, in a baseball stadium aggressively head-bobbing to Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” or mosh-pitting at an old-timey theater where The Flaming Lips are putting on a psychedelic-inspired show, yoga pants have you covered from opening act to encore.
Dinner with a Friend
This one’s a no-brainer. After an afternoon spent Netflix and chilling with your dog, swap out the comfy, college sweater that got you through eight consecutive episodes of House of Cards for an ironic graphic tee, throw on a leather jacket and keep your yoga pants right where they are. Congratulations, you’re relaxed and ready for a meal with the girls. Also, writing “relaxed and ready” makes me think of an alcohol-and-sleep-medicine-mixed Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids, moseying down the airplane aisle and slurping out, “I’m ready to paaaarty!” But I digress.
Dinner with More Than a Friend
The thing you may not know about yoga pants is they’re secretly woven from threads that contain mystical, butt-shaping magic. The extra-large salad you ate last night—OK, it was pizza with shredded lettuce and mushrooms on top—is powerless against the undeniable wizardry of yoga pants at work. And when you show up in a super flattering pair for a romantic dinner, your date will be powerless against you, too.